(no subject)

[alt_regulus]

So foul

to touch

Comments

[alt_pansy]

What do you call a Dragon when you’re really, really hungry?
A big cow.

What do you call a Dragon when you’re really, really cold?
A tempermental furnace.

What do you call a Dragon when you’re really, really close?
Nice dragon. Good dragon.

What do you call a Dragon?
Whatever it wants to be called.

How many dragons does it take to light a candle?
One, but you won’t have much of a candle left when he’s done lighting it.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
RUN! IT'S A DRAGON!

[alt_pansy]

A dragon walks into a pub and sits down at the bar. The barkeep tells him, "We don't serve any dragons here." The dragon shrugs, and says, "That's okay, I don't drink anyways." The barkeep replies, "Merlin! It's a talking dragon!"

[alt_pansy]

What do you call a Dragon with a particularly heavy tail?
A Draggin'

[alt_pansy]

What do you call a Dragon that's full of alcohol?

A Flagon.

Or a bomb. Depending on how jumpy it is.

[alt_pansy]

What do you call a Dragon that is carrying something?

A Wagon.

[alt_zacharias]

That's not how it goes at all.

The barkeep says, 'We don't serve any dragons in here.' And the dragon says, 'That's okay, I wasn't planning to order any!'

[alt_lucius]

Pansy, I am sure Regulus appreciates your attempts to amuse him. I hope you will not be offended if he lacks the ability to respond right away, as he doubtless needs to concentrate. However, I'm certain that once he has the leisure to return to his journal, he shall be very grateful for the distraction of reading these early drafts for your career as a comedienne.

[alt_regulus]

Truer word was never spoken.

[alt_regulus]

I'd say she has promise.

(And I have a small break this morning.)

[alt_pansy]

Hello, Pirate.

I'm worried

I know I'm not supposed to ask

I'm sorry.

I really am looking forward to Care of Magical Creatures next term. Naturally, we won't be working with dragons, but it's still been on my mind a lot as of late.

I did look up that Parkinson you mentioned. I got permission from Pince to look him up in the Restricted section. His name was Darby Parkinson, he was some cousin or another of my great-whatever grandfather Loomis. Darby tried to go back 100 years in time, but something went terribly wrong, and there was a giant explosion both at his house, and on the spot where his house was being built 100 years earlier. Which is funny, because the reason he wanted to go back in time was to check out the explosion to see what caused it. They mentioned something called a "sonic boom," and about how going too far in time in one go can lead to ripples like a sonic boom except for in time, so now we know we can't travel quite that far at once. So I guess he won't be stopping in for tea, unless it blew him several hundred years forward by mistake.

You never know.

[alt_pansy]

There's all sorts of ways it could go, though.

Like the barkeep could say, "We don't serve dragons," and the dragon could say, "I'm not here for a pint, mate, I'm just hungry." And the barkeep could say, "Well, all right then, what are you in the mood for?" and the dragon could lean in real close and say, "I'm actually in the mood for a little barkeep."

And then the barkeep could say, "Well, my brother is a lot shorter than I am!"

[alt_regulus]

More tender, too, no doubt!

[alt_narcissa]

Any estimate how soon you'll have completed your mission?

I have a distinct impression you'll be wanting some fresh air when it's done.

[alt_regulus]

I may never finish.

[alt_hydra]

I know.

[alt_regulus]

I'm very sorry if you do. It's not the sort of thing one wants to know, is it?

[alt_regulus]

Hello back.

Sorry I've not been much of a correspondent recently.

Sonic booms, eh? I think you should keep in mind that you might have an extra for tea quite unexpectedly one day, then. It's a good excuse to always keep an extra package of biscuits in the larder, because you're absolutely right: you never do know.

[alt_pansy]

I sort of figured you had good reason.

I know there are good sorts of distractions and bad ones, and I'm hoping I'm the former, but if I'm the latter, you'll be sure to let me know?

And I suppose regardless, it's good to be prepared for any random guests to stop by for tea. Even if they aren't distant relatives from several hundred years ago. According to mum, you know you're doing well when all sorts of people want to have tea with you.

[alt_regulus]

Mother has a similar saying. Of course, what she really means is that you know you've made a success of things (her phrase) when your rate of invitations received to those extended coasts along at a ratio of two hundred to one, year in and year out, with no fuss on your part at all. There are perhaps four or five elderly witches she allows across the threshold, not counting you and me and the handful of family she's got left. And yet the post owls groan with burden of delivering all her correspondence.