Narcissa

[alt_regulus]

I thought perhaps I should write something just to let you know I am not wasting away into 'catatonia'. I'm fine. The arm is fully functional again, too, rendering the whole episode completely useless. I apologise for having put you to such unnecessary trouble last week.

Comments

[alt_narcissa]

Is it possible that in all this time, neither your Mother nor I have discussed the scandal? Goodness.

Well, depending on to whom one listens, old Scroops apparently wanted to prove that he can still give his all for the Protectorate, but the more pernicious story is that young Maurice is not his at all. As you know, Scroop was over twenty years older than Enola when he married her - a fact I have never forgot, considering that he had even spoken to Father about me, and I'm a good eight years her junior! Not that Father would ever have agreed, but it does make one appreciate the twists of fate.

[alt_regulus]

There's nothing like a bit of scandal to brighten the day.

So what did the little 'sport' do at his sister's engagement party?

[alt_narcissa]

I've a feeling I ought not go into details, since it could harm the young man's reputation when he arrives next year ... but it involved the celebratory cake, a well-positioned Filibuster's firework and not a little bit of cleaning up.

(Luckily, we were near the back. I don't know if Enola will ever get that particularly lurid shade of pink frosting out of her robes, no matter how many times she scourgifies it.)

[alt_crouch_jr]

It's not really a party until someone explodes the cake.

[alt_narcissa]

There I am sure Maurice Scroops would agree with you. His father ('father'?) however, possibly has a different opinion. It was quite a large cake.

[alt_crouch_jr]

Maurice Scroops sounds like a young man worth watching. If it could be managed properly, a disposition like that might hold promise one day.

[alt_regulus]

What is gossip good for if not for going into the sort of details that would spoil a young man's reputation? That's the only reason to bother!

I'm glad there was at least the one bright spot in the day--and none on your robes by the end of it. Well played, cousin.

[alt_narcissa]

Spoken like one whose reputation has been utterly shattered.

But to Barty's question - is there anything else you would like? If you're going to be kept under house confinement, you might as well have the comforts of ... well, not home, unless we say my home, but let us call it the comforts of genteel living.

[alt_regulus]

Let me think on it over this glass of extremely heartening whiskey. Perhaps over night.

Honestly, there's not much one needs, staying here. Comfort isn't really one of the categories.

[alt_narcissa]

Yes, I see you've prevailed upon Barty for his best.

Dearest cousin, ought you to be drinking, however? Not that I would deny you in anything like so dramatic a manner as your mother, but is it really the best thing for you, right now?

[alt_crouch_jr]

I'm sending you a subscription to Word Has It. It will keep you entertained when you've got back to corridor sitting at Buckingham--and it will spare you these embarrassing gaps in your knowledge.

[alt_regulus]

Good of you, but I'm sure you needn't bother.

I can always come round to yours if I need to catch up with the scandalmongers. I didn't like to mention it, but since you've brought it up, you seem to have developed quite a serious thing for the tattler rags. Are you sure it's a healthy interest? I hear it can be habit forming.

[alt_crouch_jr]

It's purely professional research, I assure you.

[alt_narcissa]

Word Has It? Surely you're joking? You don't actually set any store by the dreadful things Ramora Rathbone invents to sell her rag?

I had no idea your hidden depths were so shallow, Barty dear.

[alt_crouch_jr]

You'd be surprised how often there's a useful shard amongst the rubbish. We read yours, too, of course, but I assumed Regulus already takes it but just hasn't paid due attention to the columns.

[alt_narcissa]

Witch Weekly's society column at least has the advantage of being composed entirely of accurate information, rather than outright libel. I am truly sorry if your duties up to now have included panning through that collection of fool's gold for any nugget of the truth.

But the one you really ought to take, if you're serious about following that sort of thing, is Night Owl. It's uncanny how Mercurius Mulcter obtains his information.

Regulus' acquaintance Bobolis does a fair job in Londinarium, as well.

[alt_regulus]

Oh, you mistake him, cousin. He takes ALL of them, from In the Soup and Whirl to Witch Weekly and Enterpriser's Watchlist.

Londinarium has turned out rather well, I'll grant you.

[alt_narcissa]

Oh, now, that's taking professional obsession much too far. I understand the theory - what is in one is liable to be exaggerated or even wholly false, but what is in three or four may be closer to the mark - but ALL of them seems unnecessary.

Well, I suppose it's lucky he has an entire wing of Marlborough he can fill with them. One wonders his elf does not stagger under the pile of periodicals littering the mat each morning!

(Meanwhile, I've just had an owl from Mulcter telling me he's already received six owls with new subscription requests and at least two dozen requests in his journal. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Ramora tries to extract her payment in revenge for my comment last night.)