I didn't have your reasons to go. Not that you asked me along. But I wanted to be Father's second.

Now look who's stating the obvious. Sorry. It's just

I wanted

I'm not good at this, you know? Finding words for all this rubbish. I wanted our family--you and them and what we should have been if you just hadn't hated it so much all along or if Mother hadn't

and I know it was never what it should have been, and that's why you didn't love us

love

I don't know

with you, you know, there were times when none of the rest mattered at all? Mother could turn away and Father could thunder and it didn't matter because we were together for it all

but afterwards

I'm sorry, I just, I don't know what to say now to you

that I'm not you? and I couldn't do it like you would, like you did?