Narcissa

[alt_regulus]

Just letting you know, cousin, that I've arrived here, safe and sound. No lasting effects from the Apparating, though it's taken all afternoon to get my legs back under me.

Pleasure seeing you, though. You may be right about French wines after all. At any rate, a good bottle is an excellent thing indeed.

Also, I'm putting you on notice: when I next earn a reprieve long enough for a visit, I demand a rematch--and this time I'll bring the cards. I should have known that yours would be partial to their mistress.

Comments

[alt_pansy]

Have you gone far?

I was hoping I'd get to see you in person. Draco says you have a hook-hand. Is that true?

[alt_regulus]

Perceptive, isn't he? Cousin Draco.

He's right about you, too, and the sort of questions you ask.

As for your first question, it depends how you mean it. If you were asking existentially, then the answer is 'Very far, indeed.'

[alt_pansy]

You're quite odd.

Of course I'm asking existentially. You haven't stopped existing, after all. You've just changed where it is that you're existing in space. And if you travel in space very far, like Apparating over long distances, I can see how it would be tiring.

Or do you mean the scholar's type of existentialism? Where you don't think you have to follow rules anymore? At least I think that's what it's all about. There's a book at the library at home that has definitions of that sort of thing, but because I don't have it here at school, I can't say for sure one way or the other whether I've got it right.

Does it still hurt at all? Your non-existent hand? I've heard that even after bits of you are cut off, you can still feel them.

[alt_regulus]

You are remarkably well informed for a small person. And also very curious. I suppose the two things go together.

I see Mother did no better with you than with me. Interesting.

And yes. The cut-off bits are amongst those parts that hurt. Quite regularly, I'm afraid.

[alt_pansy]

Thank you.

And I'm sorry to hear they hurt all the time. That can't be pleasant at all. Especially since they aren't even there any more, so it's not like a poultice would help or anything.

[alt_regulus]

Thank you.

It would be nice if someone would create a poultice that could heal non-existent wounds. I wonder why they haven't.

That would be a good question for you to ask someone. The matron, maybe. Or the Bloody Baron. Or maybe that Gryffindor chap with his head off.

D'you talk to the ghosts much? They can be a laugh, some of them.

[alt_pansy]

I talk to the Grey Lady every now and again. She always wants to know what I'm reading. She isn't really funny, she's more sad than anything.

I haven't ever really talked to Nearly Headless Nick. He tends to hang about the Gryffindors. But he seems to be pleasant enough.

[alt_regulus]

Ah, the Grey Lady. I haven't thought about her in-- a long time.

Better to talk to her about books than anything funny, I'd imagine. And Nick, that's right, Sir Nicholas Someoneorother. He's a pleasant old chap, especially compared to the Baron. No laughs with him; that's for dead sure.

How did we get into this?

Oh, wounds, yes. Non-existent ones. The Baron's an expert on those. I wish I'd ever thought to ask him.

[alt_pansy]

I guess ghosts are one big non-existent wound, aren't they?

[alt_regulus]

Ha!

You're funny.

[alt_pansy]

Does Lucius call you Razzer, or is he referring to someone else altogether?

[alt_lucius]

Regulus is not the Razzer, Little Bit, and stop pestering him or you are like to run him out of patience.

As for you, Reg, I look forward to the news of your latest project's success. Our Lord mentioned only yesterday how much he enjoyed your last ... report.

[alt_regulus]

Well, I'm glad it received a warm reception. The alternative being what it is.

I think I may be getting the hang of it. Today's business was surprisingly quick--a surprise to me and to the client, as it happens. I'm afraid I may have pushed him a bit hard.

[alt_regulus]

And that is very funny. To me.

I'm not sure the Razzer would agree.

At all.

As for Lucius, don't mind him. I'm rather enjoying talking to you. It's a bit of comic relief to the rest of the day's business. (And I mean that in the best sort of way.)

[alt_lucius]

She hardly needs encouragement, cousin. She is incorrigible enough as it is.

Still, provided you think nothing of telling her when she ceases to amuse you, by all means, see if you can do better than your mother in bringing the child to heel.

I daresay you have had the training from one far more skilled even than Walburga. No doubt your recent acquaintances attest the extent to which you have mastered the lessons.

[alt_regulus]

Oh, do spoil the fun.

You are almost as skilled as Mother in that department.

And my recent acquaintances are strangely reticent. I'm afraid I'll be receiving few testimonials from those quarters.

[alt_lucius]

Forgive me, Regulus; your entertainment was not as prevalent in my mind as Miss Parkinson's near-constant need for discipline. There is no need to equate me with your formidable mater.

I fear you also misunderstood me regarding the declarations of your newfound friends. Your contact with them ought to speak for itself, don't you agree?

[alt_narcissa]

Well, that's good to know, wherever 'here' is this week.

I admit I enjoy a fine Muscat as much as anyone, but there's simply no rival to the delicacy of French grapes.

Partiality has nothing to do with it, dear. Even after all these years, I know your tells. And I know when you're hiding something delectable from me.

[alt_regulus]

Here. Yes, well, I'm beginning to appreciate how the Weird Sisters must feel from day to day: 'Helllooooo, Manchester!' 'Hellllooooo, Glasgow!' 'Helllooooo, Little Snodding!'

Perhaps one day we can settle our debate with a proper tasting, but for the time being I concede that your cellars contain the very best that France can offer.

Keep telling yourself that, do. But I'll be bringing the cards next time, nonetheless.

[alt_narcissa]

You never can figure out how to get rid of the poison cards, whether it's your deck or mine.

So your mission involves touring our great country, does it? No doubt you're leaving quite the trail behind, from fallen rivals to broken hearts.

[alt_regulus]

Your deck or mine.

Yes, well.

The poison cards follow wherever I go. I blame the broken hearts, if there are any, on them.